How to Stay Positive During a Never-Ending Job Search – Experts Weigh In

It’s fairly easy to feel at least some shred of enthusiasm at the start of a job search. Even if you weren’t planning to be on the market at that point, the promise of something new (and potentially better) is scintillating.

But it’s not long before your excitement starts to wane. And when your job search drags on for three months, six months or even a year—without an end in sight? Your fervor is quickly replaced by dread and disdain.

Fruitless searches and frustrated feelings

If you’re currently navigating a job search yourself and feeling a hefty amount of angst, take some comfort in the fact that you aren’t alone. “There is unfortunately not a great vibe among most job seekers at this point, especially those who have been on the market for a while,” explains Mike Peditto, Director of Talent at Teal who recently made it through a long job search of his own.

It’s a tough market, and in a recent survey of more than 1,500 candidates, almost 70% of job seekers admit that their current search is more difficult than their last one.

There’s anecdotal evidence to back up that general feeling of frustration, too. “It was honestly one of the most mentally and emotionally exhausting times of my life,” says Ashleigh Bergh Duggan, who’s now the Customer Success Manager, Scaled at Lavender, about her own seven-month job search in 2023.

That’s because the job search demands a certain amount of vulnerability. “Putting yourself out there comes with emotional exposure, whether you hear bad news or you are anticipating bad news because of silence,” shares Jessi Gold, MD MS, Chief Wellness Officer of the University of Tennessee System and author of the upcoming book How Do You Feel?

“That doesn't even include the pressures that finding a job has on a person financially or in their family dynamics or their identity,” she adds. “That all compounds the emotional exposure because you put a lot of stock in an outcome that you have no control over.”

And if that wasn’t enough to send your spirits into a steep nosedive, Jessi adds that it’s “very hard for us to remove the outcome from our self-worth.” That continues the cycle of self-doubt, negative thinking, and feelings of imposter syndrome that can hinder your job search and your outlook.

Is it even possible to stay positive during a long job search?

I get it. “Keep your chin up!” sounds like trite advice when your entire career and ability to earn an income hang in the balance. Yet plenty of research highlights how much positive thinking can improve your mental and physical well-being. 

So, how can you make the best of things during a seemingly never-ending job search? Here are a few tips to help you through. 

1. Aim for neutrality instead

Alright, so the truth is that relentless positivity during a challenging period is likely too lofty of a goal in the first place.
 

“I don't expect anyone to be all positive all of the time. That goal does not seem attainable in a process of unknown, rejection, and vulnerability,” Gold says.

Instead, she recommends aiming for a more neutral outlook “where we can say there are good times and bad times and can take the time to feel and name all of the emotions we are experiencing, but at the same time not let them get in the way of continuing the process.”

2. Connect (and commiserate) with other job seekers

Your job search can be isolating, but there’s no reason to go it alone. Connecting with other job seekers can offer some support and solidarity.

Peditto said he found it particularly helpful to discuss the current market with other people who were searching for new roles. He took some comfort in “knowing that, in many cases, people are getting less than 2% of interviews they apply for. Knowing that it wasn't just me failing while everyone else was doing well was helpful.”

Those conversations helped him face the facts and the realities of the current market that, while potentially depressing and discouraging, helped him take rejection or silence less personally.

Duggan also says she found a lot of encouragement in connecting with other people in similar circumstances—especially if she could offer her assistance in some way.

“If I felt particularly down or unmotivated, I’d shift that day toward checking in with other people and seeing how I could help them with their search instead,” she explains. “Focusing on helping someone else, even if only for a short time, always reinvigorated me and often inspired me to make changes or try something new in my search!”

Chatting with other job seekers is helpful, but Gold says it’s also worth talking with anybody you can be honest and vulnerable with—a friend, former coworker, family member, or even a therapist—to process your emotions and move forward.

3. Stay open-minded

Understandably, the more your positivity wanes the easier it is to look at every opportunity or challenge with overwhelming pessimism.

You’ll never get that job. That person would never want to help you. It’s not even worth the energy.

But that attitude—while completely relatable—will only limit and potentially even extend your job search. Instead, stay open minded and look for opportunities and support everywhere.

“Try reaching out to everyone you can think of who might be able to help,” explains an anonymous source in the geospatial tech industry who was laid off after 20 years with a company and navigated a five-month job search earlier this year.

“Someone you haven’t talked to in years just might help you get your next job—that’s exactly what happened for me,” he adds. “The job you eventually land will seem like it was a lucky combination of circumstances that just happened to work out. That's how life is, so just try everything. You have nothing to lose.”

4. Try jotting down your thoughts

Gold says some aspects of cognitive behavioral therapy can be helpful, especially something called a “thought record” that pushes you to pay attention to and document your negative thoughts, feelings, and triggers.
 

“You can then think of evidence for or against that thought and try to come up with a more balanced thought,” she adds. “You might even start to recognize patterns in your thinking, often called cognitive distortions.”

The simple act of noticing these patterns can help you go a long way in limiting their impact. So, grab a journal or use this worksheet to try processing your negative thoughts and worries in writing. You might be surprised by how much it helps you.

5. Set smaller, meaningful goals

We can all agree that achieving a goal feels good. It triggers dopamine, a neurotransmitter in your brain that’s linked with pleasure. But dopamine doesn’t just incite gratification—it also boosts your motivation, as your brain wants you to seek out even more of that reward.

It’s a testament to the power of goal-setting. Yet, goals are a tricky concept in your job search. “Of course, getting a job is the top goal, but most days that is not even on the table as achievable if you are not in the final stages somewhere,” Peditto says. “If you consider every day you didn't get a job a failure, you are going to be setting yourself up to fail almost every day.”

Instead, he recommends setting smaller goals throughout your job search, like revamping your resume, connecting with five new people, or catching up with one former colleague. Those are important and rewarding milestones that can boost both your mood and your motivation as you keep moving forward.

6. Be careful with the content you consume

There’s a lot of vulnerability wrapped up in job searching and, unfortunately, your feelings of doubt or desperation can make you easy prey for slimy tactics or less-than-stellar advice. Peditto mentions there’s no shortage of “misinformation and people preying on jobseeker anxiety with content aimed at going viral more than helping solve anything.”

It’s a challenge that Duggan faced firsthand. “One of the more immediate and more difficult challenges to overcome initially was to try and isolate who to take advice from,” she says. “It suddenly seemed like everyone was a resume writer, a career coach, an ATS expert.”

“I listened to a lot of advice that wasn’t helpful from individuals who presented themselves as such, but that really didn’t have the experience to back it up,” she adds. 

Those misguided suggestions can not only hinder your job search but can also inspire more negative emotions and feelings of inadequacy. For that reason, do your due diligence before accepting someone else’s tips or words of wisdom.

If you’re vetting a career coach, take a look at their reviews and the results they’ve achieved with previous clients. Or if you come across a recommendation, conduct some additional research to see if the coach is mentioned elsewhere or if other people have used them successfully. This is another benefit of building or leaning on your network. It’s easier to trust their expertise and that they have your best interests in mind.

Doom and gloom? More like room to bloom

The truth is that, especially in today’s market, your job search can last a while. So, you might as well not be miserable the entire time.

Is it easy to maintain a positive attitude when faced with silence or repetitive rejections? Absolutely not. And you deserve time to process and feel all of your emotions—even the negative ones. Phony positivity doesn’t benefit you either.

This isn’t about pasting on a smile and pretending your job search is nothing but roses. Rather, the point here is to develop more resilience. Ultimately, that’s a skill that will serve you well in your job search and in whatever role is next for you.