6 Signs You’re Giving Far Too Much to Your Job

While giving your best at work is a good thing, giving more than you should isn’t. But how much is too much?

When you’re giving far more than you’re receiving from your job, whatever that means for you, it’s a sign. Similarly, if work seeps into every aspect of your life, sucking away all your time and energy, it’s another red flag.

When you have nothing left for your own life or the people in it, including yourself, it’s clear that you’re giving too much to your job. You may be perpetually working overtime, constantly answering work calls on the weekends, or just feeling like you can never say no to work, even when you’re miles away from the office.

Whether the pressure comes from your boss, your coworkers or yourself, it's good to know when it's all just too much. Let’s look at a few signs that may be true for you, and some things you can do about it.

Some Warning Signs

1. You’re neglecting your personal relationships

Does your spouse feel like they have to call you at work to speak to you? Do your kids feel like they're getting the leftovers after your job gets your best? Are your friendships suffering from serious neglect? Do you even have any real friends anymore?

If you don’t like the answers to these questions, you’re likely giving too much of yourself to your job, with little left for anyone else.

And don’t forget your relationship with yourself. If you’re so busy or exhausted that you never have time for self-reflection or self-care, then you won’t be your best self for anyone else either. 

2. Your work relationships are out of balance

Whether you’re so focused on the next task that you barely know your co-workers’ names, or, at the other extreme, your only ‘friends’ are the ones you see at work, something is wrong. 

It’s important to connect with other humans, even while you’re at work. Just knowing a few details about your coworkers' personal lives that you can ask about will provide a friendlier – and more human-friendly – environment at the place where you spend so much of your time. 

On the other hand, if your work is your entire social life, that’s probably a problem. With a few possible exceptions, there should be a difference between friends who have the most important place in your life and work friends who come and go with the job.

3. You’re gaining or losing weight 

Maybe you spend so many hours at work that you eat most of your meals there or you stress eat all day. Maybe you don’t get to the gym as much as you’d like. All of this can add up to extra pounds and feeling less fit and healthy all around.

On the other hand, maybe you skip meals to have more time for work. Or you’re so stressed you don’t have an appetite, while you’re burning extra calories with all that toil and worry. This could mean you start losing weight, but not in a way that’s good for you.

If these extreme habits go so far that you’ve gone up or down in clothing size, your appearance suffers, or you never have any energy, that’s not a sustainable way to live.

4. You usually eat lunch at your desk

Whether you feel like you can’t afford the time for a real lunch break, you can’t seem to drag yourself away, or you don’t even think about it, not taking your lunch hour is a sign that you’re letting work take too much from you. 

Lunch – both the meal and the time away from your desk – is designed to recharge you so you can return to work renewed. It’s also a chance to fit in a personal errand, connect with a friend or simply enjoy a change of scenery. 

Just remembering to savor the food you eat as a source of pleasure rather than merely a way to fuel the rest of your workday is also a simple way to take care of yourself. Is your job getting too much of your lunch?

5. The quality of your work is suffering

Ironically, if you’re spending all your time and energy on your job, you’re more likely to make mistakes, and not be at your creative or most efficient best at work. 

If you’re always working but getting less done, or what you do doesn’t shine like it used to, you’re probably giving too much, and the results show that you’re all used up.

On the bright side, this sign can be used as evidence to convince your boss (or yourself) that having a life is actually good for your work performance too.

6. You don’t know who you are apart from work

How often have you met someone new, and after answering the inevitable question about what kind of work you do, had little else to say for yourself? When asked about your hobbies and interests, books or movies you’ve enjoyed or places you’ve traveled to, you draw a complete blank.

In fact, beyond eating and sleeping, there’s not much in your life that isn’t intrinsically linked with your job.

Whether work is leaving you little time for any other interests, or it simply has become your whole identity, it’s likely taking up far too much of your life and sense of self. 

Some Ways to Keep Work in Its Place

Set boundaries

You need to be clear with yourself and others about when you’ll leave work for the day, how you’ll deal with communications outside of work hours and what others can or can’t expect of you when you’re away from the office.  

This will look different for every individual and work situation, and you’ll have to be a little flexible. But it’s important to start a new precedent of leaving work where it belongs as much as possible. 

You may have to retrain yourself and others. It could be as simple as just not answering those calls and emails away from the office, or you may have to have some conversations about why your new boundaries are important and will likely help rather than hurt your job performance.

Take real time off

Are you actually taking every single vacation day you’re entitled to? Do you stay chained to your phone the whole time, worrying about work, or even doing it while you’re supposed to be off?

If so, make a commitment to take at least some of your vacation days as true do-nothing holidays, no matter how hard it feels to step away. Otherwise you may feel like you’re always working, even when you’re supposedly taking time off.

Cultivate a hobby 

One important way to decompress from work is to rediscover things you enjoy doing away from work. Things that are absorbing, energizing or just fun can help you regain your balance and reconnect with who you are apart from your job.

While you might feel like you don’t have the time or the energy for anything besides work, you might find that immersing yourself in a hobby you enjoy actually gives you more of both. What you do in your leisure time can help you be more effective at work, since hobbies can build confidence and help develop out-of-the-box thinking.

Get some perspective 

While you might like to feel you’re indispensable at work, that doesn’t mean you should have to pull all the weight, or that everything will fall apart if you take a little time for yourself. 

Also, be careful not to mistake being used for being needed. If you make it too easy for your boss or co-workers to always call you first with a question, they’ll probably keep asking.  

Remember that you don’t have to be everything to everybody all the time. If you change the way you view work and its place in your life and identity, then you can start changing how much you let it demand from you. Ultimately, it's about valuing yourself enough to draw clear lines between things that help your employer, and things that nourish you.