Prince Harry and Meghan Markle: A Royal Fairytale Or The Least Compatible Types in the Enneagram?
In the world of celebrity relationships, wondering who is compatible with whom is a tantalizing question. Relationships are hard. When friction plays out in the spotlight, it's even harder. We get invested in their romance and their struggles. We cheer and we lament, and wonder whether it's possible to predict what's really going on behind closed doors.
But never do we know enough.
One couple that has truly caught the world's attention is Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex. As two prominent figures in the public eye, their relationship has been under scrutiny from the very beginning.
At first glance, it may seem like this loved-up couple is a match made in heaven. Both come from successful backgrounds, both have strong personalities, and both are passionate about making a difference in the world. However, when looked at through the lens of the Enneagram, their types may reveal some potential challenges in their relationship.
You know what? Let's be bold. While any Enneagram type can make it with any Enneagram type, some couples have the right ingredients from the start. Harry and Meghan...are not one of those couples. The Duchess's dominant and fiery Type Three nature may not gel as well with Harry's loyal and suspicious Type Six as we might like to see, especially in a couple that has so many external pressures and expectations on them.
The 3/6 combo is one of the least common pairings in the Enneagram and it's not hard to see why.
What Meghan and Harry Get Right
Let's start with the areas where a Type 3/Type 6 couple can shine. Being in love is the best fuel for both of these types but, regardless of their feelings, Meghan and Harry potentially have a lot in common and can complement each other in interesting ways:
- Hard work and discipline
Both Type Threes and Sixes are hard-working, disciplined "doers" who are willing to put in effort and make sacrifices to reach their targets. Common interests and a sense of service bring them together—they are both at their best when achieving tangible things in the world. Sixes bring warmth and practical good sense. Threes bring a dose of ambition and strategic thinking to the table. They can have a high degree of respect and admiration for each other's ability to work hard and be successful.
- Loyalty
Type Sixes will go down with the ship for those they care about. Prince Harry’s bonding with former soldiers who were wounded in Afghanistan, where the prince also served, indicates the typical Type 6 trait of identifying with the underdog. Sixes are absolutely loyal and will cling onto relationships even when things get tough.
Type Threes have less unconditional loyalty, but they prize their personal relationships and can be quite sentimental in private, as long as they don't feel smothered by their partner. This shared sense of loyalty could create a strong bond between Meghan and Harry, as both types are prepared to work hard to support one another through thick and thin.
- Can-do attitude
This is the Type Three's forte. Meghan likely brings a sense of action and enormous self-confidence to the relationship—a real sense of possibility. Type Sixes, while cautious, often thrive when they feel supported and encouraged by their partner. In their relationship, this could translate to Meghan pushing Harry out of his comfort zone and helping the couple reach new heights, while Harry reigns in Meghan's seemingly endless ambition and keeps her grounded. Together, they can be unstoppable.
- Stability
Sixes have a strong sense of duty and responsibility. We suspect that Harry, as a Six—albeit one with a Seven wing—balances Meghan's need to constantly be achieving with a reminder about the importance of family, relationships and stability. Balancing the Three's drive and the Six's calm stability will be key for this couple. If they stay happy into their old age, it will be on this solid foundation.
Where the Cracks May Show
Despite the potential strengths of this pairing, there are also some areas where they may struggle:
- Attention-seeking
Both Type Threes and Sixes can have a strong desire for attention and external validation. While this can be motivating and drive them to succeed, it can also lead to competition and conflict within the relationship if one partner feels that their accomplishments or contributions are being overshadowed by the other. Both Harry and Meghan have a tendency to look externally for validation and to overcome their secret inferiority feelings, which opens the door to unhealthy comparisons and competition.
- Control issues
Type Threes often have a need for control and can fear intimacy. Sixes tend to have trust issues and can become suspicious or skeptical of their partner's motives if they feel like they are not in control. There's only place this dynamic can go—power struggles. The Type 3/Type 6 pair has the potential to get lost in a never-ending battle for control and dominance if they're not careful, especially if the Three communicates their "constructive criticism" in ways that undermine the Six's sense of confidence.
- Difficulty with vulnerability
Both Threes and Sixes have a fear of failure, but for different reasons. Threes fear failing to live up to their own expectations and may become anxious or self-critical if they feel like they are not achieving enough. Sixes, on the other hand, fear failing in relationships and may become overly cautious or defensive if they feel like their trust is being broken. This could lead to a cycle of blame and defensiveness, making it difficult for the couple to communicate and resolve conflicts.
- Different outlook and coping styles
Type Threes are the ultimate "sunny-side-up" personalities, always looking to put a positive spin on things even in the face of challenges. Sixes are much more catastrophic in their thinking. This difference in outlook may cause tension and misunderstandings, as Threes may view Sixes as being overly negative and pessimistic, while Sixes may see Threes as being grandiose and avoiding the reality of potential problems. At their worst, both can become evasive about their true feelings and deteriorate into a surface-level relationship where they develop social lives away from the other.
Arrows Connected to Each Other
An interesting aspect of the Type Three and Six pairing is their connected arrows. In times of stress, Harry's Type Six moves towards the Type Three, Meghan’s type. To compensate for his insecurities, he may become tough, competitive and arrogant—hyper fixated on a desire for success, recognition and achievement as opposed to his usual focus on security and safety.
If that clashes with Meghan’s need for recognition, she might respond by trying to prove her superiority: constantly promoting herself or making her accomplishments sound better than they really are (“Look at me!”). This is a defense against feeling jealous of others and their success.
By contrast, Meghan's Type Three moves towards Harry's Type Six in times of growth. When this happens, she may become more responsible and steadfast, and show genuine care for the people around her. How Harry might respond to this depends on how secure he is feeling at the time. If he feels like their relationship is stable, he likely will become more relaxed and confident in himself. However, if his trust has been shaken or if there are underlying insecurities, he may respond by becoming suspicious or accusing her of being inauthentic or shifting values to suit the situation. She is an actress, after all.
It Takes Work to Make It Work
From a perspective of the Enneagram, Meghan and Harry have the potential to really get each other and deliver what the other needs. Megan’s energy can feed and protect Harry emotionally at a very deep level; Harry's warmth and steadfastness can bring Meghan down to earth, establish a sense of security and provide the validation she desires.
However, like any relationship, there are also potential areas of conflict that they will need to navigate carefully to maintain their bond. Megan will be happy as long as she is stimulated. However, royal life is rule-bound, conventional and suffocating. We've already seen the couple push back against these expectations, with both Harry and Meghan choosing to step away from their roles as senior members of the Royal family.
It may be that she now looks to Harry to keep her stimulated and excited. If Harry's pushed out of his comfort zone too far and too fast, this could spell trouble. We're not talking about a marriage on the rocks, but diverging interests that can put a once-tight relationship on less solid footing.
