The Real Reasons Why Gen Z and Millennials Love to Hate Each Other

Generational battles have been fought but the war is far from over. First Gen Z came for Millennials’ skinny jeans, and we said nothing. Next, they canceled the laughing-face emoji and said that side-partings were out, and still we stayed quiet. Now, the youngsters have sunk even lower, claiming that ankle socks are “for old people”. 

Will we continue to remain silent?

Yes, the last few years have been tough for these two generations. While historians can’t pinpoint the exact moment that Gen Z and Millennials became rivals, the facts speak for themselves. Scroll through TikTok, and you will encounter endless videos of people ranting about their generational opponents. But why the bad blood? Let’s dive into one of the biggest feuds of our time.

Who Are Gen Z and Millennials, Anyway?

Before we go any further, it’s time for a quick definition of these generations. Chances are, you know which category you fall into. However, for those on the fence, we’ve got you covered.

•  Millennials are those born between 1981 and 1996 and are America’s largest generation. They grew up as the internet was in its infancy and you might say that they learned and developed as it did. They are typically more concerned with improving society than they are with growing businesses and capitalism.
• Gen Z includes people born between 1997 and 2012. From the time they could speak, these youngsters had the internet at their fingertips. They are tech-savvy innovators and are ready to fight against the inequalities of the world. However, they also happen to be the unhappiest generation in the workplace.

While these two generations may spend time feuding online, they tend to have similar money perspectives. For example, research by Deloitte found that both Gen Z and Millennials had a “cautiously optimistic” outlook when it came to their own personal financial situations. However, six in 10 people in these generations currently live paycheck to paycheck.

To add another layer, Truity research shows that other generations, born outside these dates, might also identify as  Millennial or Gen Z, at least as far as their values are concerned. While you can’t change your birth cohort, your attitudes may fit one of these generations better than your own. Our True Generation quiz can be a fun way to see just how Millennial or Gen Z you really are - and why you're more invested in this feud than you have any right to be!

What Has Caused the Generational Feud?

If you’re scratching your head and wondering what has caused this generational feud, you’re not alone. As the two generations are close in age, it seems strange that they take shots at one another. So, what is the issue? We asked the experts to help us unravel this mystery.

Different Formative Experiences

 “The tension between Gen Z and Millennials often feels like a playful sibling rivalry. As a psychologist, I see this dynamic stemming from their different formative experiences,” explains Ehab Youssef, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Mental Health Researcher & Writer at Mentalyc.

We’re not about to get into the nature vs. nurture debate, but our formative experiences go some way toward shaping who we are. Since Gen Z and Millennials were born at slightly different times, their introductions to the world will also have been different.

“Millennials grew up during a time of rapid technological change and economic stability, while Gen Z has been shaped by advanced digital technology from birth, coupled with greater economic uncertainty and social issues like climate change,” Youssef continues. “These different contexts can lead to misunderstandings and differing values, fueling the ‘feud’."

The Desire for Unique Identities

We all want to belong. Whether that means supporting a sports team, following a certain musician or dressing a specific way, we each like to find ‘our people’. The feud between the generations is no different. People simply want to claim their identity.

“Differentiation comes with the need for identity formation and social belonging, which are important aspects of psychological development,” says Gary Tucker, Licensed Psychotherapist at D'Amore Mental Health. “Furthermore, the different challenges faced by these two groups at various points in life make them even more distinct from each other.”

There’s safety in numbers. The more that one generation claims to be nothing like the next, the more they secure their place within the pack. When things get difficult – as we all know that they do – we can rely on the fact that we are not in it alone.

 “Being part of a generational group provides a strong sense of identity and community. It offers emotional support and a shared narrative that helps individuals understand their experiences and challenges,” adds Youssef. “This collective identity can be particularly comforting during times of social or economic upheaval, providing a framework for navigating the complexities of life.”

The Constantly Changing Times

Sure, Gen Z and Millennials may be right next to each other, but that doesn’t negate the gap. Let’s face it, between 1981 and 2012, the world has changed in ways that few of us could have imagined. It’s no wonder, then, that these two groups don’t always see eye to eye.

“Time moves so quickly, and so much can change in just a few years, so it's natural for each generation to feel like they're worlds apart from the previous,” says Sal Raichbach, LCSW, PsyD, Chief Clinical Officer at Haven Health Management.

“I think the main reason they want to distinguish themselves from one another is to assert their own individuality. Again, since they grew up with different experiences and circumstances, they want to ensure none of these are overlooked, and they don't get lumped into one category.”

Put simply, each generation wants to assert themselves as unique. It’s a tale as old as time. However, it’s when we look past our differences that something beautiful can happen.

How the Two Generations Can Come Together

So, what have we learned? “From a psychological perspective, it's essential to recognize that generational differences are a natural part of societal evolution. Each generation brings new ideas, values and innovations. Embracing these differences with curiosity and empathy, rather than judgment, can foster intergenerational understanding and cooperation,” says Youssef.

Playful rivalry can be fun. We all love the odd pun and joke. But on a serious note, it’s important not to allow our differences to tear us apart. While Gen Z and Millennials may be born at different points in history, the two groups can learn to embrace one another.

 “Despite the playful jabs, Gen Z and Millennials share a lot in common. Both are tech-savvy and value diversity and inclusivity. They are more progressive compared to older generations and share concerns about the environment, social justice, and mental health,” says Youssef.

“This overlap in values means they have more in common than they might initially think, providing a solid foundation for mutual understanding and collaboration.” The following tips can help you do just that.

Have a Good Sense of Humor (GSOH)

Don’t take things too seriously. The rivalry between Gen Z and Millennials really isn’t that deep. Rather than getting all up in arms about this bickering, learn to truly find the funny side. (After all, if you can’t laugh about it, you might just cry!)

 “Gen Z's teasing of Millennial fashion and trends can be seen as a way for the younger generation to assert their own identity,” says Youssef. “Fashion and trends are visible markers of cultural differences, and making fun of outdated styles helps establish a distinct generational personality. Humor can also serve as a coping mechanism, allowing both generations to navigate the pressures and challenges they face in a light-hearted way.”

Learn From One Another

Each generation sees things through its own lens. That means that they can bring a new perspective to everyday issues. One of the best things that we can all do is share knowledge.

 “Both generations can learn a lot from each other. Millennials can learn from Gen Z's fearlessness and willingness to speak up for what they believe in," says Raichbach. “Gen Z, on the other hand, can learn to be more patient and resilient from Millennials, who have experienced and overcome economic challenges such as the 2008 recession.”

Be Open-Minded and Communicate

Think you know all there is to know about the generations? Think again. Rather than presuming that you have someone’s number, take the time to get to know them instead.

“The best way to bridge this gap is to be open-minded. Since we're all products of our own experiences, it's essential to listen and try to understand where the other is coming from,” says Raichbach. “Instead of being so quick to dismiss other generations and their beliefs, we should be willing to have meaningful conversations and learn from each other.”

Find Some Common Ground

Spoiler: Gen Z and Millennials are not so different. Focus on the things that you share with people from the other generation and let that lead the way. When you start searching for common ground, you will see that there’s more than you might expect.

“Finding that common ground and building on it can help bridge the generational gap. Instead of focusing on what sets us apart, we should focus on what brings us together – our shared experiences, values and goals for the future,” says Raichbach.

Playful Rivalry or Serious Feud — You Decide!

Wave the white flag and bring an end to the generational war! Sure, Gen Z and Millennials will continue to tirelessly berate one another online, but that doesn’t mean they are mortal enemies. Like generations before them – and those to come – they are simply trying to claim their identities and find a community. With a little compassion and humor, we can all get along.