Is Mindfulness a Personality Trait, a Skill or a Lifestyle?

Mindfulness is a term we hear a lot these days, and the internet is full of all kinds of definitions and instructions about how to do it. For many who aspire to be mindful, it’s just out of grasp because we aren’t sure about what it really is.

Let’s start with a good but simple definition found in an article in Psychology Today: “Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention to the present. This state is described as observing one’s thoughts and feelings without judging them as good or bad.”

Okay so…is mindfulness a skill, something you learn? Is it lifestyle, something you do? Or is it a personality trait, something you are? The answer is actually none of them. Mindfulness is more of a technique for living a happy, healthy life. 

While a skill is an ability to do something, a technique is a way of doing something. That means mindfulness is simply one way to pursue happiness. But skill, lifestyle and personality all have a role to play, so let’s take a look at how each of these relates to a mindful way of living.

How mindfulness relates to personality

Mindfulness is not a personality trait, but they’re related. It’s more accurate to say that some personalities have an easier time practicing mindfulness, and it comes more naturally for them. So the question isn’t, “is mindfulness a personality trait?” but “how does personality affect one’s ability to be mindful?”

Some personalities are naturally adept at present-moment awareness (or mindfulness). I know this, because I’m not one of them! As much as I want to live a mindful life, my mind wants to pull me into each intriguing, dreamy thought that comes my way. 

Wait, you say, that happens to everyone. To some degree, yes, it does. But if your personality uses Intuition, then present-moment awareness does not come naturally to you. Instead, you are astute to patterns, symbolism and meaning, and often what is going on in the present moment is not on your radar.

But folks with a different personality, like my husband who is sharply aware of the most mundane things around him, live in the present moment. In the 16 type personality system, he is a Sensor. His energy is not taken up with meandering, mental explorations, but is spent on what is happening now. He lives in the present moment and does it naturally because that is part of his personality. 

How mindfulness relates to skill

Depending on your personality, mindfulness can be a talent you are born with, or a skill you must develop. So if you struggle to be mindful because your personality makes it hard, then you have to work at it. Once you’ve determined how your personality relates to your knack for mindfulness, you can decide how much work you need to do to practice the skill.

Here are three skills you can acquire if mindfulness is not natural to your personality.

#1: Engage your senses

If you don’t easily pay attention to your surroundings the way my husband does, you can practice this skill by engaging your senses throughout your day. Notice the sights, sounds and scents around you.  What are the colors? The textures? The pitch of the noise you hear? Give your full attention to the concrete objects in your environment. This will keep you grounded in present-moment awareness, and away from dwelling on the past or anticipating the future.  

#2: Be an impartial observer

As you become skilled in present-moment awareness, begin practicing observation without judgment. This one is hard for me because Intuitives will naturally attach patterns and meanings to everything we sense. But if you practice by taking a step back, you can observe yourself, your environment and your reactions to your environment in an impartial way. Nothing is good or bad here, it just is. This skill, when developed, can help you stop judging yourself and others.

#3: Be intentional

When I was younger, “multitasking” was all the rage and in any job interview you had to prove you could do it. But in recent years a greater wisdom prevails—giving your full attention and best intentions to one task not only saves time (surprise surprise) but prevents a job poorly done. Being fully present with each activity, one at a time, is more purposeful, more intentional. And the intentional way you complete your task will lead to more meaningful results.

How mindfulness relates to lifestyle

As I said in the introduction, mindfulness is a technique for happy, healthy living. If this technique comes naturally to your personality, then it will automatically be a part of your lifestyle. You don’t need to think about it. You just do it. You naturally live in the here and now.

For everyone else, you have to keep practicing the skill. Mindfulness can become a lifestyle if it is practiced as a skill frequently enough. If you’re struggling to work a mindfulness practice into your everyday life, take a moment to remind yourself why you want to be more mindful in the first place. 

Mindfulness has been embraced by leaders in business, sports and the military to name a few. Why? Mostly, it’s a response to the current culture of fast-paced, chaotic, pressure-filled living. Somewhere inside all of us exists the need for a slower, calmer way to live and our society just doesn’t support it. 

We’ve even been gaslighted into thinking that going to a yoga class qualifies as mindfulness. Some people are so busy running from a yoga class to tai chi to a meditation circle, they miss that their lifestyle doesn’t reflect mindfulness at all! They are still worrying about the future and living in the past.

The reason you may want to adopt a lifestyle of mindfulness is that it’s a good tool to foster a sense of calm and groundedness in your everyday activities and to avoid judgment of yourself and others. If you feel you already have this in the bag, then maybe you don’t need mindfulness as a practice. 

But many of us struggle with self-criticism, anxious thoughts, or challenging emotions. Mindfulness can help with these.

Want to try a mindfulness exercise?

You can try a mindfulness exercise right now if you want to. Simply sit down and take deep breaths. Bring your attention to your body and how it feels as you breathe in and out. Note each sensation you experience: each sound, each scent, in this moment. Feel the air passing in and out of your lungs. It doesn’t matter if your eyes are opened or closed.

As you become more aware, shift your attention to any thoughts and emotions that come. Don’t fight them. Allow them to be and don’t judge. They are neither good nor bad. Sit with them like a parent sits with rambunctious children. Don’t worry if they act up, just accept them. Let any criticism go and note any changes in your body as you relax.

You can take this exercise with you anywhere you go. And after doing it a few times you might gain more clarity about what mindfulness is, and whether it’s right for you.