Mindfulness Doesn’t Work For My Personality. Now What?
Although mindfulness has become mainstream, it’s not accurate to say that it works for everyone the same way. Some people may get different results from their friend who swears by it. Others may get no results at all.
If personality psychology has taught us anything, it’s that we’re all different. We have different ways of being and acting that come naturally to us. That’s also true about how we apply mindfulness to our lives, and how easy or difficult that might be to do.
How do I know if my personality will struggle with mindfulness?
The 16-type system of personality answers this question particularly well. Mindfulness is all about placing your attention, and the Sensing vs Intuition dimension of personality tells us a lot about what you are most likely to pay attention to throughout our day.
Simply, Sensors pay attention to what is concrete in the here and now. Intuitives pay attention to patterns and possibilities for the future.
Can you guess which personality trait makes mindfulness easier? You got it. Sensors have a natural ability to be mindful by spending most of their time in present-moment awareness.
Think of it this way—Sensors pay attention to the trees and can struggle to see the forest, and Intuitives are so enamored by the forest that they can miss the trees. The trees are right in front of them and tangible in the present moment. But Intuitives are off in the future. It's hard for them to pull their focus back onto the trees, and that can make mindfulness more difficult for them.
So what if I’m an Intuitive? Should I practice mindfulness?
The idea that mindfulness doesn’t work for some personalities is a bit misleading. In fact, the more you struggle with mindfulness, the more you may benefit from practicing it.
It’s actually more helpful for Intuitives to practice mindfulness, because it can balance their tendency to drift away to abstract ideas and bring them down to earth. Intuitives live in their heads in varying degrees and would do well to come out for the fresh air of present-moment awareness.
So, if you are an Intuitive, you want to take notice of how much time you spend in your head and not in the real world. Do you find yourself daydreaming about your five year plan all day long, and forget to go to the grocery store, or do the laundry? Do you walk through a rose garden and imagine all the work, all the love it takes to maintain that beautiful vision, and then forget to stop, bend down and actually smell one?
These are signs that you need to balance your dominant Intuitive function with Sensing activities. In other words, you need to practice mindfulness.
Mindfulness strategies for Intuitives
If you’ve tried to practice mindfulness in the past and it didn’t seem to work for you, it’s possible that you’re approaching the subject with the wrong mindset. So before you dive into a regular, committed mindfulness practice, do these three things:
#1: Take away negative messaging
As an Intuitive, you may often hear criticisms like “your head is always in the clouds,” “you’re just dreaming” or “stop overthinking.” Whether or not these comments are valid isn’t important here. The point is, they are not helpful. There is always a negative connotation associated with these remarks, and you can’t absorb this negative messaging or beat yourself up for being who you are.
So before you do anything else, start by blocking out negativity that’s filled with judgment and pressure, and really appreciate your gifts as an Intuitive. It may help to read your type profile again, to help you reconnect with your many strengths you possess as an Intuitive personality type.
#2: Don’t try to be something you are not
Practicing mindfulness is helpful for Intuitives, but you don’t need to practice all day long—you’re not trying to turn yourself into a Sensor!
Devoting a small part of your day to mindfulness is all you need. Leave the rest of your day to your amazing ability to deeply ponder, dream and create.
#3: Start small
The first time people try mindfulness, they often become overwhelmed. They buy books, watch mindfulness videos on YouTube, and even design a place in their home to dedicate to their practice—but you should forget all that for now. Instead, pick one hands-on activity that you love and allow it to bring your focus to the concrete world.
For example, I love to make soap. The swirling oils in my crockpot, the scent of the fragrance, and the careful attention needed to work with lye, all bring me into the present moment. No fancy preparations or rituals—just a simple hobby that fills my senses and draws me into the here and now.
So find your activity, focus on each stage of the entire process, and voila! You have just practiced mindfulness. Now give yourself kudos for being more mindful.
Do Sensors need to practice mindfulness?
It’s easy for Sensors to be mindful and they don’t even have to think about it. They live it. It’s who they are. For this reason, they have no need to practice it—at all.
But if you’re a Sensor in need of more peace, there are alternatives to mindfulness that can help you find balance between your dominant Sensing function and your less-developed imagination. These alternatives are meditations that have a sensory component. In many ways, these practices are the opposite of mindfulness because they take you away from the here and now.
Three alternatives to mindfulness for Sensors
#1: Guided visual meditation
This practice involves creating mental images that relax you—scenes of nature, a favorite place from childhood, the face of a loved one. The right visual image will be different for everyone, and it doesn’t matter what it is as long as it brings you calm and joy.
By paying attention to each detail of the visual scene (a natural tendency for the Sensor), you can become immersed in a sensory experience by creating it in your mind.
You may find this tough at first because staying in your head is not easy. But with practice, this kind of meditation can foster a sense of peace and it will get easier.
#2: Internal sound meditation
This practice rides the wave of imagined sounds to bring you to your happy place. It can be a favorite song you hear in your mind, a mantra, or the sound of the crashing waves. Whatever it is that soothes you.
Though you can dip into your memories for inspiration, it’s not the same as “remembering” the sounds. You want to go beyond remembering and create an immersive experience that takes you away from the here and now and brings you to a place that’s free from stress.
A friend of mine said she used this meditation to create the sounds of children’s voices and laughter on the playground as she heard them when she was 10.
#3: Task-oriented meditation
This one requires that you complete a manual task, but you use your focus to imagine the results and benefits you’ll have when you are done. This is automatic to the Intuitive, who creates with the end result always in the forefront of their mind. But a Sensor is immersed in the task in front of them and not the future outcome. By focusing on the rewards of your labor, you can visit a place of satisfaction and imagine new possibilities while working in the present.
I know a gardener who does this. He works with his hands in his own yard but focuses on the beautiful design of the flower beds and how they will look when he is done. This engages his Intuitive function and he is inspired as a mental picture of his garden scene captures his attention and gives him great joy.
Final summary
Mindfulness is hard for Intuitives but, with the right mindset, will work to bring them peace and calm. So get your head right by following the three “pre-work” strategies first.
Mindfulness is easy and natural for Sensors so they don’t have to practice it. Instead, they can benefit from practicing sensory meditations that use their imaginations to foster a sense of well-being.
And beware of online articles that equate mindfulness with meditation—they are not the same thing. But once you identify whether you are an Intuitive or a Sensor, you will know which one is right for you, and then you can choose a practice that is tailor made for your own personality.
